queen & bowie's "under pressure" has become to movie and television ads in the aughts what "o fortuna" was in the nineties.

sadly, after the spot with the dog chugging water out of a toilet in time, "o fortuna" lost much of its dramatic edge for me.

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my parents had this microwave, see.

the button for the door, when you engaged it, there was a metallic turn and release sound at the exact signature and pitch of that repeated percussive hit in "under pressure" (you know, the part vanilla ice didn't sample.)

for years i walked out of the kitchen singing the song to myself. even now, when it turns up in an advertisement, i get a craving for campbell's "tomato and rice" soup.

yeah, you heard me. it wasn't the microwave controlling my thoughts.

i succumbed to the hypnotic power of a microwave door.

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if ever there was a more appropriate opportunity to use the damn tinfoil foxhat icon, i couldn't tell you what it might be. enjoy it, liam.