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14 June 2011 @ 04:13 pm
whatever she wanted  
is longing more important than connecting?

is unrequited love more noble than returned love? does nobility really play into it? how about: is there more growth, more evolution, more power in the experience of unrequited love?

what do i want, exactly? to get what i want, or to be left wanting? satisfaction without lack or better learning to iterate what is truly desired?

the empty page or the page ready to be filled? the filled page or the filling page?

finally seeing the words or wondering what they could be?

the naked page before me, or trying to make out the words printed on the other side?

remembering happiness or forgetting pain?

 
 
 
-deadletters on June 15th, 2011 12:22 am (UTC)
Hypothetical, or can anyone contribute?
selva oscuraanonymousblack on June 15th, 2011 03:59 am (UTC)
BOTH, of course.
-deadletters on June 15th, 2011 08:31 pm (UTC)
More or less bulleted to each point. I wish I'd gotten this out before anyone else responded.

Longing has a different power than connection. Longing is the dream, self-constructed and personal. The connection is something else, and depends on how much of the fantasy one is willing to acquiesce to the person.
Longing starves the soul. Connecting feeds it. The soul needs both.

Unrequited love is a kingdom of one with a throne filled with objects and memories instead of a person.
There is a power there inasmuch as you make something new of it. Take all the energy of the feelings and turn them into something real.
"The love we'll never make together/Is the most beautiful, the rarest, the most disconcerting" Serge Gainsbourg.
There is no nobility in suffering. Martyrdom is the last refuge of the masochist.

Achievement is the death of desire. Spending too long in that empty kingdom will make you mad, or at least burn you down very small.

You are the empty page.

The page naturally longs for the pen.
To make something new.

The most important thing, I think, is to remember the difference between happiness and unhappiness.
crimson_vita: blossfelt fragmentcrimson_vita on June 15th, 2011 12:50 am (UTC)
*is hoping it wasn't hypothetical*
In spite of what Blondie would have us believe, dreaming is not free. At least if not in moderation. The map should never replace the actual territory, it should only serve as a blueprint to create the best actual territory possible. It should inspire. But as long as it’s in intangible blueprint form- it’s like trying to eat a picture of food, and getting confused about why it neither tastes very good nor makes the hunger go away. Says this observer, anyway.
selva oscura: sarasvatianonymousblack on June 15th, 2011 04:09 am (UTC)
Re: *is hoping it wasn't hypothetical*
YOU GET MANY GOLD STARS. sadly, i do not have an icon with gold stars on hand, so the blessings of mother sarasvati will have to do. thank you for this.
crimson_vita: abstract colorcrimson_vita on June 15th, 2011 06:18 am (UTC)
Re: *is hoping it wasn't hypothetical*
*claps excitedly about stars while bouncing in seat*
Nevarra: achenevarra on June 18th, 2011 01:24 am (UTC)
Re: *is hoping it wasn't hypothetical*
Gold stars indeed! I have to say, what an AWESOME answer.
now you're a plastic veinmisera on June 15th, 2011 02:20 am (UTC)

I have learned in the past few months (and this is not eloquently put at all) that unrequited love is bullshit.
selva oscura: [magritte] mentoranonymousblack on June 15th, 2011 04:07 am (UTC)
i've been wondering what your last posts have been about. they had that uncanny familiarity of someone who's been through some of the same sewage treatment processing.

in my experience, all ten years of it, it both is and it isn't. there are things i learned about myself and my relationship to spirit that i don't think i would have discovered without it. so many ghosts, too. as many problems as i've had with my ghosts over the years, they've also given me some gifts.

i guess for me: better the one kind of bullshit than another. i'd so much rather be pining for another dark lover than i would be entering my fourth year of trying to find a job that will actually pay some f-ing rent. admittedly, by now i'd certainly be ready for a NEW dark lover, perhaps not an earthly one.