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16 October 2015 @ 07:02 pm
"this may or may not be significant."  
blood work results: thyroglobulin does not equal zero. (translation: fuuuuuuuuuuuck.)

terror and needles and scans, oh my.

 
 
mood: not good
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on October 16th, 2015 11:39 pm (UTC)
I will keep a thought for you. I guess there is no chance of speaking with your endocrinologist before next week
selva oscuraanonymousblack on October 17th, 2015 02:13 am (UTC)
she messaged me through the clinic's system and said i could call if i had any questions, but mostly it's now i schedule my thyrogen injections and the 2 1/2 hour body scan (this time i am bringing a CD) so we can see if i've sprouted any thyro-tissue lately.

this is a fairly decent write up of what's going down. but always keep in mind that SMBC comic about endocrinology. information-wise it can feel like charging into a dark stairwell filled with ball bearings.

Edited at 2015-10-17 05:39 am (UTC)
Vicki: diwalidaisydumont on October 18th, 2015 03:26 am (UTC)
A 2 1/2 hour body scan? Oh wow. I'll be hoping that goes well and it turns out that the blood work results are not significant!
selva oscuraanonymousblack on October 18th, 2015 04:56 pm (UTC)
i did one in february 2013. it was kind of cool, actually, from the perspective of my sensory deprivation trip. they put you on a table in a darkened room and cover you up to the chin with a blanket and this big machine whirs all around you. (this is someone who thought to record the first couple minutes of the process, not me):



they did three pictures - one of the head and neck, one detailed picture of the thyroid bed, and then a full head to toe. that one might have been more detailed because it was post-radioactive iodine treatment, but from my understanding that's always the scale of information they need for patients with increased risk of re-occurrence.

always pee first!
Vicki: curve of earthdaisydumont on October 18th, 2015 07:26 pm (UTC)
Wow, that is interesting. I hope it goes well. Looks like they do everything they can to make it pleasant. (I remember an MRI for my back where they played the Titanic soundtrack to me through headphones -- the shipwreck section was not soothing!)
selva oscuraanonymousblack on October 18th, 2015 09:00 pm (UTC)
lol, i can imagine!

i'm thinking i'll probably bring my copy of Healing Sounds of a Majestic Thunderstorm, Deep Resonant Chimes and Ocean Waves as it's both deeply soothing (hands-down favorite of my many, many relaxation albums) and a lot less likely freak out the clinician than, say, grouper or dark muse. ;-)
Vicki: moon phasesdaisydumont on October 18th, 2015 09:47 pm (UTC)
That sounds wonderful! Just yesterday I was listening to a rainfall video at Youtube. Ocean waves are also so soothing. There's something about water!
selva oscuraanonymousblack on October 19th, 2015 06:56 am (UTC)
there's a small meditation i found at the end of the summer while thinking about the friend i lost: recognizing that even one sip of water has come to me from every part of the planet and every moment in history; one sip of water has moved through the bodies of every person i've ever known - and that does not and cannot change. we are all of us in the water, all of the time. i understood that's why falling rain has the effect on me it always has: it's the ancestors, tapping on the windows. or soaking the nightstand, if i'm not paying attention to them.

mostly, comforting. sometimes unnerving. but mostly comforting.

Edited at 2015-10-19 06:57 am (UTC)
Vicki: Metatrondaisydumont on October 19th, 2015 03:32 pm (UTC)
What a lovely image! I've been maybe overmuch preoccupied with lost loved ones in the last years. I can slot a few of them into conventional saint roles -- Gerry's totally my patron saint -- but this is nice, in that it doesn't restrict them to a religiosity most of them weren't really into. Thanks for that. I'll remember it!
[redacted]elsewhereangel on October 17th, 2015 12:09 am (UTC)
I have no idea what to say -- is there anything I can give -- a postcard, some baked goods, an unfunny joke?

I want it to have been zero.
selva oscuraanonymousblack on October 17th, 2015 02:19 am (UTC)
thank you. it's a trigger to do more screening, at this point, not a recommendation, at least. it's just you know what you know, you've distorted what you've distorted, and you remember all the horror stories, as well as every terrible or half-assed thing you have ever done over the course of your entire life. and it seems like my natural inclination isn't to go, ah, it'll be okay, but more: worst case scenario! if not worst, second or third worst scenarios! buh.

i will contemplate your question and let you know.

me too. ben too. same with my mom.
Guckgucky on October 17th, 2015 05:06 pm (UTC)
Seconding your "fuuuuuuck."

selva oscuraanonymousblack on October 17th, 2015 05:49 pm (UTC)
i keep wanting to say "it could be worse" which, yeah. of course it could be worse. there's an infinite supply of "worse." but right now i don't even have a sense of what it could mean. it could mean pretty bad. or it could be almost fine. so, just, for now. fuuuuuuuck.

also, ♥