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04 January 2016 @ 10:10 am
and of a voice that told her when and where to act she said  
and then, the holidays were over.

ben went back to work and judith got out of bed. she washed the mugs in the sink and put away the dishes in the drainer. she took a full dose of pseudoephedrine and tried to figure out something she could eat without a notable amount of calcium, iron, or fiber. she continued her second week of waiting for the guy to show up and do stuff to the furnace. she changed her mind about the shirt she was wearing because it was interesting and she didn't really want to navigate conversations about it.

then judith realized she was alone, on the sixth (or seventh?) day of waiting for test results, test results telling her if she needs surgery again, not-so-slowly losing her mind to an encroaching sense of pending doom. but could she cry or even think her way through to another perspective on the matter? no. because ben would not be home to anchor her from going too dark and that's been a viable concern. also, guy could show up, do stuff to the furnace, any minute now. so she thinks around it in crooked circles, wrapping it over itself, bleeding through the page, listing down distressingly into her (six or seven?) other major issues.

and there you have it: my first post of 2016. shoddy manifestation work, i know. i haven’t had a lot of success with manifestation work. more often than not, i seem to be one of the many who ends up in the psychic backwash of other people’s manifestations. what did i do in a past life, huh.
 
 
mood: sorry about the downer
music: karma moffett - ocean bells
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on January 5th, 2016 04:28 am (UTC)
Best first line
The holidays made anyone waiting for anything feel out of luck. Would we could speed time like an Einstein.
Joel Osteen -that's shoddy manifestation work

Guckgucky on January 5th, 2016 05:06 am (UTC)
No apologies needed. Words are better than no words. And the burden of how you "should be" feeling or what you "should be" expressing can fuck itself.

Please do the gloriousness that is you wherever it takes you.

(hugs)