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10 May 2017 @ 12:59 pm
the only soul inside that makes me shake  
down at the bottom of it.
down at the bottom of it.
down at the bottom of it.

of what? i don't know.

four corners around me. four corners that are a circle, that make a sphere. four corners around me, and the above, and the below. i'm down at the bottom of it. down at the bottom of it, looking up over it. i'm not sure where i am. i'm everywhere. i'm nowhere. i'm everywhere, i'm nowhere. i'm in a simple dress. i'm in a simple dress, lying down at the bottom of it. and i feel my limbs. i feel the four corners in my limbs. this corner, that corner, another corner, one last corner again. i feel the ancient energy of that which i haven't experienced yet. i feel the ancient energy of that which i don't know: and i don't know. i don't know. i don't know where this is going. i don't what my intentions are. i don't exactly know what i want, here. just this crushing, this obliterating, this tsunami of desire. of unnameable desire. of unclaimable desire. of desire that i have no place feeling. and i have shame because of it, and i'm tired of that shame. i'm so tired of that shame i won't even feel it anymore. i refuse to feel my shame, but it's still there. why? why am i ashamed of this? why do i feel like want makes me a lesser person? why do i feel like i have any less right to that which i desire than anybody else that i know?
 
 
mood: mental training for insomniacs
music: dark muse - queen of the world of spirits