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22 December 2015 @ 06:54 pm
will i dream during the process?  
so that didn't go real great.

i'm sure a contributing factor was my mistaken understanding that this was going to be, like, walk in, low concern! flinch my way through some lidocaine injections, low concern! get this lymph node and this other spot poked a couple times, low concern! walk out, low concern! wait a week or two for a my unconcerning results. huzzah. see you next year. instead?

there's a thing.

a concerning thing.

in the left thyroid bed. that the in-house thyroid cancer specialist, consulted for a visual scan in an effort to pin down where my excess of TG might be coming from, pointed out to my endocrinologist. the in-house thyroid cancer specialist sure did not like the looks of that thing. nobody knew what the thing was. so we biopsied the thing. and damn, that one was deep. also, it hurt. more than the lymph node over my esophagus, which hurt plenty and (also) required two entries. audience members will be comforted to know that my involuntary clawing reflex is fully operational. good thing for the sonogram room table (and my leg) that i trimmed my nails last night.

what might the thing be? so, first, it probably isn't cancer. probably. now that i'm thinking about it. anyway, what it could be is thyroid tissue, which would also be bad. not because tissue automatically equals cancer, but because tissue can become cancer over time. plus we rushed the joint like we did in 2013 so there would not be so much as a single cell of thyroid tissue left anywhere, it was a whole big thing.

but, hey. welcome to cancer.

so. even if it is simply plain old thyroid tissue, i will need surgery again. and probably I131 treatment again. and yeah, i would've thought, as much as the next person, that a big old hunk of freshly-sprouted thyroid tissue in the left side of my neck would've shown up on my scan, but who knows.

so now i have a fourteen-punctured neck. there are many bandaids and much swelling. i'd post you a picture, but i'm having enough self-image issues as it is. the lidocaine has officially worn off and swallowing water makes me want to cry. let us not even talk about yawning. i had to cough a few minutes back and sounded like a fifth grader trying to get out of school on math test day. because holy shit, even just faking fifth grader cough? i saw sparks.

best part? results take seven to ten business days. [looks at calendar] so i might be looking at as much as two weeks before i hear anything back.
music: the slaves - seventeen
(Anonymous) on December 23rd, 2015 01:25 am (UTC)
Oh Jeez I know waiting for results on top of waiting to get procedures has got to be the last thing on your to do list.
I would put you on my joke a day list but I find not much funny myself
Have Ben read you the entire Winnie the Pooh collection that ought to take a week or so. I will keep you in my thoughts and wish a flurry of good luck your way
selva oscura: 402anonymousblack on December 24th, 2015 03:46 am (UTC)
that's funny - i found my old milne paperbacks the other day while i was ripping around the place looking for something for a white elephant exchange and considered them (i got the fancy hardcover a few years back on a good borders coupon) but then thought, no, those should go to nieces. little plate of shrimp, anyway. my email sig was from "piglet is entirely surrounded by water" for a couple years, back when people still did that.

yeah, halfway into my initial diagnosis i posted to lj begging for stupid jokes. and some of those jokes were pretty stupid, i'll tell you what.

also, thank you.

Vicki: PG H2Odaisydumont on December 24th, 2015 05:01 am (UTC)
Oh gosh, Judy, I'm sorry, both about the painful biopsy and the terrible wait for results. I'll be hoping that those are the least-bad possible! <3
selva oscura: [cats tarot] lovecatsanonymousblack on December 30th, 2015 09:21 pm (UTC)
it's just this thing where: if it's not thyroid tissue in my neck, what is it? ugh. i hope it's something else, i hope i hope i hope, but... what could it be.
tumbel: grass handstandnevers on December 30th, 2015 07:07 pm (UTC)
:(. super shitty. :(.
selva oscuraanonymousblack on December 30th, 2015 09:22 pm (UTC)
happy fucking holidays, right? ♥