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22 November 2018 @ 12:55 pm
thanksgiving  
miriam
maureen, what do you think it’s like, being remembered?

maureen
miriam, you know what that’s like. you’re continually remembered. it’s an aspect of basic cognitive function, that the people you have contact with remember who you are.

miriam
no, i mean — like, for lydia, now. what do you think it’s like after —

maureen
don’t be morbid.

miriam
not in a morbid way. we have these bodies and brains, you know, these materials partitioning us off from the people who hold us in their hearts. i wonder if it’s — if that’s different, after we die. after we lose those partitions. or even just when we stop being active memories. because we stop being in someone’s life for the rest of their life. when we — i don’t know. what do you think that… feels like?

maureen
maybe it’s like stars.

miriam
stars?

maureen
you know, they’re out there. or we believe they are. you can look at them, you can remember their position in the sky. you can navigate your boat by them. but sometimes what you’re looking at? it isn’t even there. it’s just the light of something that disintegrated thousands of years before still moving toward the earth. but most of us can’t know that. most of us will go through out entire lives not knowing if a star is alive or not. unless the light runs out. or you’re an astronomer. probably astronomers know which stars are still there.

miriam
does it matter, do you think? if we can still see it, whether it’s actually there or not.

maureen
for the star, yeah.

miriam
but the star is gone. it — isn’t.

maureen
i mean, in one form. but the light keeps going, you know? it eventually passes us by, okay, but that’s just earth. light doesn’t stop just because it passes the earth. it keeps going, right on past us, forever. we just can’t directly experience it, any longer.

miriam
but we can remember.

maureen
and we can know that in some way, that star is still going on. even if it’s in a way we can no longer understand.


.



i know your light’s still out there
 
 
 
Mary: eggshellsegg_shell on November 22nd, 2018 06:29 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful.
selva oscuraanonymousblack on November 27th, 2018 06:52 pm (UTC)
it's from the last few minutes of the television series i started writing in 2014 (miriam is remembering this conversation which happened shortly before the series run a couple years after maureen has died.) i probably wrote this six or so months before losing my friend paul and hadn't revisited it until the other night, when it was just like, okay, yeah, thank you past judith who didn't even know what she was writing, yet. then i cried for a while and posted it on livejournal, LOL, because i have no idea what to do with this content now and some of it is fairly remarkable. thank you, lady. <3
something halfway between a feather and a jaw: calm calm wingsawayslow on November 23rd, 2018 09:12 am (UTC)
yes. yes and yes and yes.
selva oscuraanonymousblack on November 27th, 2018 06:53 pm (UTC)
(((yes.)))