selva oscura (anonymousblack) wrote,
selva oscura

or will it just be another one of those times?

it's hard to talk about
largely because i didn't really have anyone to talk about it with at the time
and i conditioned myself to tolerate that
which made it feel that much more like a masking thing

which it was

or, worse, another horrible sexual assault related secret for my overstuffed vault of sexual assault related secrets
about which i also did not have anybody to talk to

but i feel like the 2000 election caused me
not only trauma and loss of faith in america's ability to serve its citizens
(even the vulnerable and struggling ones)
but also a great deal of soul loss
at a time when i was already suffering from a great deal of soul loss

i'm thinking of my twenty-five year old self this afternoon
i'm sending her what support i can
i have no illusions that this is going to make it all better
every systemic failure proud boy exploited in the course of his administration existed long before he decided to run for office
and we've still got the next three months of who even fucking knows

but i'm still here

and if you're reading this you are too
and that means something.
please, please use it.

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